Yeah, I'm still alive.

The most simple thing.

The freezing November sun, a clear blue sky.
Fallen leaves on the pavement, snowy mountains far away.
Black and white pictures, unknown melodies.
Daydreaming, planning our travel to the North.
Britpop, The Beatles, Nirvana.

Incoherent, unconnected thoughts.
Sudden blissfulness, a smile on your face you did not expect.





Today, I want to be a photographer.



*

Lou Reed – Perfect Day
The Libertines – What Katie Did

Alive.

More alive than ever.
Like waking up from a profound sleep. Like leaving all the darkness of your dreams behind and opening your eyes to the real world.



How could I know that you would find some happiness in this crazy universe.
The world is black, but you always find some joy in all this misery, some beauty in all the grey chaos.
And you know you like it. You like the sadness, the tears, the pain, the cold rain on a winter morning, the dying sun, the emptiness, the sorrow, the fear. You like your world black.

And you always find the way back home.



Pearl Jam – The Fixer

Invisible.

Today I'm invisible, I'm a ghost. I'm not here.
Nothing that happens today seems real. I'm wide awake but I feel like if I was asleep. Like if I was somewhere else, very far from here. Like if there was a thick glass wall between me and the rest of the world, and I can't hear people talking to me, I can't figure out what's going on. And I start to think that maybe this is a dream. A dream in which a cold white sun always shines.


God, I fucking love this feeling.




Alice In Chains – Angry Chair

Yellow heart.

Dark red and yellowish leaves floating in a clear-blue sky.

Everything was yellow in the cold October air.
Yellow emotions, yellow smiles.




Gogol Bordello – Start Wearing Purple

Gogol Bordello – My Companjera